7: Distractions

Ultra is streaming, although I can’t say I am a fan of watching a stream of live raves but PENDULUM AND KNIFE PARTY. That is fucking awesome. However, I am also trying to update this blog and this stream is really (REALLY) distracting.
There was a point when I was tripping on shrooms that I just wanted just felt so overwhelmed by all the stimulus around me and I just wanted to turn everything off and relax. Now that I’m not on shrooms I find myself always wanting to do something, to listen to music, to watch a TV show, read an article, just something to fill my time. Oh the irony of life. Why is it that we have to find ourselves being distracted by something all the time? I think its because life is stressful and these distractions offer us escape, denial from our current realities of life. But they don’t last forever so why not just face it head on?
It’s been a slow week, so I guess this post will just focus on a couple thoughts I’ve had about life. I used to have a lot of free time on my hands, I would just get baked, play league or watch some TV. That was a terrible time in my life, and sadly that was life a couple months ago. I’m not saying I don’t do it anymore, it’s fun and relaxing but now I am much more deliberate about it. Planning out a Friday night after 8pm to get baked and play some videos isn’t as bad as getting home and doing it right away, I mean it’s a Friday night?
Another point I wanted to make about this was that where the fuck did all my free time go? I didn’t do shit last school term and now I barely have time to finish a 40min TV show or to do everything I want to do. I guess that’s very naïve of me to say that. I may I have less time now, but I can definitely prioritize and get the things I really wanted to do done. But being productive is really hard. I mean I can barely write this blog without alt-tabbing to the ultra stream… (this set is hella good though).
Living by myself, I’ve suddenly developed all these interests: strength training, reading, photography and blogging, and I know I can’t develop all of these interests at the same time, but the 20-year-old of me thinks I can. I mean, when we are 20 we are on top of the world right? I find myself trying sometimes, and suddenly I just feel overwhelmed and end up watching TV… Productivity in a nut shell, right? Right?
I really need to working on buckling down and learning to be self-disciplined. This week I am going to take one baby step towards that and say I am going to enjoy finishing The Power of Habits (the book I am currently reading) by 9pm on Sunday night. Hopefully, I’ll be able to steal one of my friend’s books to read after while I await the arrival of April or order my new batch of books!
Alright… back to ultra…

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