So this writing everyday thing differently did not happen. I am not discouraged though, I mean thats life right? I’ve got this poster of Mike Tyson that says “everyone thinks they have a plan, until they get punched in the face” and I think that’s true. So I forgot to write yesterday, I was take responsibility for it and move on. Sometimes we will make mistakes in life or be caught up in everything around us that we forget to tend to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late. I think the most important part is to become self aware of these events and to purposely learn from your mistakes. There is no point in dwelling on the past but that doesn’t mean we should just forget about them. One thing I’ve learned from this meditation app I’ve been using (Headspace) is that we should not try to get caught up on our thoughts or try and resist them but rather to be aware of them and if suddenly we catch ourselves being distracted we just need to gently bring our minds back to the present.
I’ve been meditating for about a month now (10 minutes each day) and I’ve begun to notice myself becoming more calm overall, more collected. Now this doesn’t mean I’ve become a wise sage, but rather I’ve learned to be more aware of my present self and my surroundings and that I’ve started to learn to manage my thoughts. I’ve always been big about getting exercise and training the body to maintain health, but I’ve never bought into the idea of training the mind, however since this term is all about self development, I thought I’d give meditation a try. I mean who doesn’t have 10 minutes to spare in their day? At first I started to notice that I slept better and then eventually the effect just started wearing off. Not in the sense that I wasn’t sleeping well but more of a plateauing effect. The initial burst of change from meditation started to wear off but I push myself through the drudgery. So last night I decided I was going to wake up a little bit earlier this morning, do some push ups to get the blood flowing and meditate for a bit before I got on with my day. Wow! I am not sure if it was the push ups or the meditation, but I really felt awake and energized throughout most of the morning. I went to work, put my phone away and got all my daily tasks done before lunch. It felt great, but by the afternoon, the looming thought of my work term report came and all my energy suddenly fading away. I am not sure if it was my thoughts or the fact that my boss threw me into a very in depth topic without any context that overwhelmed and drained me.
So regarding this work term report, as if it wasn’t hard enough by itself. My boss wants to me analyze a specific function of the HVAC work they we provide to our customers. However, I know literally nothing about our systems other than the costs and the general capacities. And here he wants me to look into the data and figure out how it actually affects the specified functions of the machines itself. What the fuck dude. I spent a whole afternoon reading background info into this stuff and without the help of our engineering supervisor basically mapping out the directions I should take into starting my work term report I didn’t actually learn much. This sucks. I am very frustrated, however I’ve decided that this will do the company good and that I will try my best to work through it. If by next week I’ve still got nothing to work with. I will ask my boss for help, but I will give this 100% of my effort first and try to figure out all that I can before I rush to my boss for an easy solution.