We past the end so we chase forever

What will I try to improve on next week?

One thing I definitely want to improve upon for next week is to devote at least 20 minutes everyday to read. Not only do I think it is a form practicing self-discipline but also 20 minutes is a very short period of time I can definitely squish out everyday to learn about actively train my mind and learn about something unrelated to school.

What was I most proud of this week?
This week completed a lot of my homework ahead of time. I even finished applying for jobs by Thursday! I am really proud of the fact that I kept myself motivated throughout the beginning of the week and really kept my productivity high.
What was my biggest accomplishment this week?
This is a tough one. An accomplishment this week was definitely receiving that digital interview from Suncor. Although I have been working on trying to get a job at Suncor for the past couple of weeks, I think the results of work really showed when I received the email for the digital interview. I know that this digital interview is just a tiny step forward towards getting the actual position, but I have learned a lot just getting to this point and I really feel good about my results from all the work I put in.
What have I done to get closer to my life goals this week?
This weekend, I learned to be patient, to take a step back and look at the whole picture. I honestly still don’t know what my life goals are, so I am going to talk about what I have done this week to achieve my short-term goals. I have kept up my reading and been listening diligently to The Investor’s Podcast to keep up a daily habit of acquiring knowledge about financial management and investing. I have been following the 5/3/1 program I set for myself at the gym and working hard to push myself physically. Finally, I have been trying my best to stay on top of my school work and even though I might not enjoy what I am doing, I want to be able to prove to myself that I can be good at things I don’t take great interest in.
What was hard for me this week, and why?
The hardest thing this week was definitely trying to keep all the good habits I formed as the school semester started. Near the end of the week I felt really burned out mentally and panicked a little regarding my future financially and professionally. A part of me just feels like the current program I am in university is very irrelevant in the real world, I know it is not, but I guess I feel like it is very irrelevant to my own interests. This really had an impact on me trying to complete my own assignments because I really couldn’t answer “why” I was doing this.
What was my biggest waste of time this week?
My biggest time this week would definitely had to have me being indecisive and just wasting my time away scrolling through the internet most of this weekend. I felt really unmotivated as I had, still have, no fucking clue how to do my current engineering geology assignment. On top of this, my classmates have not started the assignment and my professor has not replied to my email, so I am feeling very stuck and frustrated with my situation, and thus my motivation and productivity took a big hit.
What did I do this week that made me ashamed?
I am ashamed of the fact that I gave up so easily when faced with problems. I think it is very easy to reason ourselves to be lazy and not take action than to push ourselves past our mental blocks. I know I haven’t been very productive this weekend and I am ashamed of the fact that I let myself fall into this small slump so easily. However, life is not about failing but rather getting back up after you fall and I think I have learned just a little bit more about myself after this crash. Moving, reflecting back on this time, I will be able to fine tune my own life just a little more to keep myself motivated for longer.
Brain Dump
Don’t you think those words in the title is really clever? I thought so. Personally I found it very thought-provoking, a unsual way to look at things. By the way, if you don’t know, it’s a Chainsmokers song and I highly recommend it!
Look at that, a new format to my blog posts! Exciting right? Sure I think free writing for 30 minutes every week is great but if just ends up as me ranting about how my life sucks and random thoughts in between does it really do me any good? I think I am going to stop keeping a timer on and just focus on thinking back throughout the week and answering the above questions.
Yea my posts will become shorter, but in retrospect, I think this will do me good in learning to become more aware and in tune with myself. This way, at the end of each semester or every once in a while I can look back at my own writing that actually has some structure to it and see if I can find any correlations or similarities between the posts instead of just free-flowing for 30 minutes.
Sure I will still do a brain dump at the end of each blog post, but I think that will depend on how I am feeling that day. I want to focus on goals I can achieve and then dumbing them down so then I can make sure I can definitely acheieve and then slowly build back up. It’s like strength training. You start training with easy weights even though you are experiences and then slowly work your way up so that pushing past your previous record won’t seem ridiculous but just a matter of persistence. Slow and steady wins the race right? And hey, if I can make the race shorter so that is it easier for me to win, why not?

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