Week 22: Technicolor Beat

Oh Wonder is so good. The soft beats and the heartfelt lyrics really get to me. I really liked them before I saw them live at Coachella but after their performance, I feel like I’ve become obsessed. It’s funny because I don’t even remember their performance…

Anyways, life has been really good lately. My mental health has really been improving. I’ve slowly noticed my own shift to a growth mentality although I still catch myself filled with negative thoughts and complaining here and there. It is a work in progress. So I’ve been seeing this girl I met on tinder and I am think she is super cool. It is pretty casual. I really enjoy talking to her. We poke fun at each other and we talk about big life topics. The constant change of pace in our conversations is very refreshing. Last night we went clubbing and I had a lot of fun! Not sure about her…

I finally have concrete work to do next week! Research has been such a slow start. However, my last meeting with the PhD student I am working with went really well. I think each time we see each other, we start to understanding each other’s work ethic as well as time management skills. It is good to know that we get along really well and that he is very patient with me. I have a lot of learn this semester and I can confidently say I am actually looking forward to it.

What will I try to improve on next week?

Next week I will try to improve my focus. I am easily distracted and working at home has really demonstrated that to me. With a solid work load, I will work on my focus next week by prioritizing work over everything else. Then when I get burnt out from doing actually work, I think can then switch to personal development. I need to plan my days out better so that by dinner time, I will actually feel like I have become one step closer to my life goals. The step size can be variable from day-to-day but the main focus is to keep progressing in an upward trend.

What was I most proud of this week?

This week I am proud of the fact that I decided to see my tinder girl. It may not seem like a big accomplishment to anyone else, but I get really scared of committing to people. I guess a part of me just doesn’t want to disappoint them or getting super attached. No risk no reward right? I am happy I went out with her again this week. It was nice, we got a late lunch, then just sat in the park and talked. Woo hoo, progress in my love life. Although we agreed this won’t be serious, I am happy I haven’t run away yet. I am not sure how I really feel about her but if it’s not broken don’t fix it. The goal is take it as it is and then re-evaluate once in a while to make sure we are still on the same page.

What was my biggest accomplishment this week?

I coded my first webpage! It was a simple tribute page to Elon Musk. The webpage consisted of only static elements and not much was there stylistically. However, I coded it from scratch! That felt pretty amazing. I’ve always been wanting to learn to program. I tried multiple times and every time when things got hard I quit. With more time to myself this semester, I am going to stay committed. I realized my end goal to learn to program is too able to create my own custom blog from the bottom up. Customizing the minor details to exactly how I want it. I like to feel as self-sufficient as possible. Scratching my own itch. With this end goal in mind, it is much easier to learn to program where as before I was just trying to learn it for the sake of learning it. The learning curve is massive, thus with intrinsic motivation, it will definitely be easier for me to follow through this time.

What have I done to get closer to my life goals this week?

I have been more and more about investing. It is a marathon, not a sprint. At first, all the information seemed very overwhelming. There are so many charts, ratios, financial statements, and news about market that I wasn’t sure where to focus on. Slowly, I have learned to familiarize myself with all the information that is being presented to me. Each week, I spend time reading about investment strategies, learning general facts about the market and researching companies in different industries and comparing their financials. There is still plenty of learning to do, but I am starting to feel more confident when it comes to evaluating a company’s worth and its potential future.

What was hard for me this week, and why?

Not having real work to do makes it hard for me to actually be productive. Like I say every week, I am not good with managing my own time to be productive. I like to have hard deadlines to meet, quantitative math equations to solve or papers to write with topics I understand. Having to set my own goals, find my own resources and then defining my own problems to come up with my own solutions is really tough. This week, I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, thus excusing myself to get any real work done. I think it is important to expand my own social circle but there needs to balance in my life.

What was my biggest waste of time this week?

I go through these phases where I download an iPhone game and become obsessed with it. I deleted it today because I found myself checking the game every five minutes. Jesus, get a hold of yourself Donny. It was my biggest waste of time this week because checking my phone so often easily disrupts my flow state. So, it did not explicitly waste a lot of time, but there has been a major implicit impact on my time and that was deemed to be negative. Next week I will spend less time staring at my phone.

What did I do this week that made me ashamed?

I AM SO ADDICTED TO MY PHONE. I have especially noticed this at the gym. I am constantly scrolling through Facebook, Reddit or browsing my own music between sets. This has been really distracting to my workouts as well as my own life in general. It’s a machine that just outputs colors for fuck’s sake… I need to really up my focus game and find mentally challenging tasks to occupy my time so that I check my phone. On top of that, I need to become more mindful of it too. This means that every time I feel the urge to check my phone, I need to become aware of my urge and really evaluate how I feel at that specific. Becoming extremely curious at the idea of it is the first step into breaking this terrible habit that has engulfed me.

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